Whoever said when you become a parent you lose all your spontaneity, was clearly not a parent.
I spend my life on the edge these days; you have no idea what that little human can do and will do next. My life is full of unplanned trips, situations and feelings I never imagined I would feel.
My advice is to be prepared to not be prepared. Shortly after giving birth to my now 12-month-old, I had a visit from a friend, Mother of three, French and the most beautiful soul I have ever met.
As she sat in my pristine living room with a cup of tea I instead made while nursing a baby and taking work calls, she said “I really need to tell you something” I listened. “It’s ok to let things go. Your house doesn’t have to be perfect, your hair doesn't have to be done and you can let others help you. Enjoy the help.” I remember thinking, I will never let my house standards slip and I will never be the person who has toys all over the house; I simply can’t think of anything worse than asking people to do everything for me, that’s just not me.
But 12 months in, I realised that something in what she told me was correct. At the time of this conversation, I was certainly experiencing burnout, trying to be the perfect Mum, the perfect partner, the perfect friend and the perfect businesswoman. Today, I don’t believe I have let my standards slip but I have certainly realised the less stress I put on the situation, the better the situation usually turns out.
These little humans seem to bring phases and they all pass. Some last longer than others but they do pass, the good and the bad. So, learn to enjoy the good and find a coping strategy for the bad.
I now don’t need to do everything. I have learned that I have a team at home and a team at work. I don’t need to be prepared or have a plan for every aspect of my life and when someone offers to help me, I accept it.
Becoming a parent for the first time is the hardest thing I have ever done. If you are feeling the same, I am quite sure it is normal, but there are things you can do to make it easier for yourself.
Take it one phase at a time and enjoy it as these months for most are magical; maybe not at the time, but when you have time to reflect, the majority are.
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